About Me
Hi, my name is Brian and this page is on my Life and my hobbies and
so forth.
My life, I know some of you are going, oh boy here we go but I have had a good life compared to some and a bad life compared to others. One thing is for sure, I'm proud of my life and no one can take that away from me. I have done a lot of things that I regret and I will do some things that I dread but I still love my life.
I do a lot with my time and I think that is good because life really is short. Most people live there whole young lives waiting to get older just so that they can be old and wish that they were younger. Sounds like a waste of time and it is, and it's sad. Well, anyway, you can't catch me during school because I'm either practicing or playing with the band, on a camping trip with the scouts, at a Key Club event or meeting, or doing something else with school. During the summer I have a lot of time and I use it to fill my hobbies with. Some of my hobbies are making web pages (my favorite thing to do), fishing, camping, playing games on the computer or spending time with people that I like (including family and friends).
The earliest memory that I have is of my 4th birthday party. Pretty much the only reason that I remember that is because I have a picture of the cake and the people and of course me. But I remember being happy and satisfied with everything, now it's like everyone is trying to be something better or buy something better, it's like a big huge competition between...well, everyone. The next memory I have is of the registration day at school. I don't really remember what I was feeling but I remember having the picture taken. Next I remember about the middle of my kindergarten year and it was the first time I ever got in trouble in school. All I did was climb the stairs on the other side of the stair rail because some kid dared me and I had fun doing it until the teacher made me go and write my my name on the board and put a check by it because I was bad. That was the first time I remember ever feeling the emotion of hurting someones feelings. It was like by doing that I had just ruined my teachers year or something, I felt terrible and now I just think back and laugh. But then I think about all the kids now. My age especially, killing people and doing other things that seem like you would have to be, I don't know, just insane to do. The kids that do all of the shooting and bombing and then go kill themselves. Do they not even think about what they are doing. Have they never felt love or anything. It's like they never knew what it is like to feel loved and wanted. If only they would have met God. And knew that he sent his son, only son, to die. Not only to die but to be beaten over and over and to be torchered and then to be hung on a cross and left to die for him. If they only knew that someone gave there life for them and loved them enough to do it, I bet they would still be living and they would be nice people and a friend of someones. It really helps to have a friend. Someone to talk to about everything. And I haven't had to many that I could really talk to about anything. Just about three and of course they don't talk about that sort of thing but they will talk about anything else, well almost anything. Do you know what it is like to lose someone? I know that it is a touchy subject but you'll get over it. I lost my dad to a heart attack when I was in 8th grade, I'm a Junior now so it wasn't that long ago. But I have no idea what things would be like if he were still here. I really wish that he were still here but I know that life goes on. I didn't think that I would ever be able to live on when he died. It was like my life was over, I would just sit in the hospital chapel room thing and I would never leave. Then someone said that we had to go and I was in shock until I got to my grandmothers. That's when I ran in the back bedroom and I just layed there and cried for ever. I didn't want to talk to anyone or even see anyone. My mom asked me if I wanted to talk to the pastor of my church but I said no. She sent him in anyway and I am so glad that she did. He reminded me that dad was fine, he was perfectly happy in heaven and that if he could talk to me that he would tell me to cheer up because he was happy there. I think that if Darrel, the pastor, wouldn't have come in and talked to me then I would still be in that room crying my life away. It's kind of funny because there was really no reason for me to cry. What I mean is, I love dad and I will always miss him but I would rather him be in heaven because that is where he is happiest and that is all that I want really, for him to be happy, but I sure do miss him and it does help sometimes to sit here like I am now and just type away while you're looking at the screen through blurry tear soaked eyes, lol. No seriously, I think that it helps to mourn some but I know that you can take it too far. I think that I did good when dad died but not near as good as mom did. I think that she was ready. Well not really ready but prepared. I know that she misses him a whole lot but when he left I think was the best time because the Lord wanted him then, and he got him. Wow, I have typed a lot, I think that I will put this in my journal, I have never really let my heart type like that.
Well I guess I'll quit gabbing now, come back soon, bye.
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